Cat Jokes Compilation

Some of you might find cat jokes quite amusing as you can relate to it with your own experiences with cats, especially cat owners. Most jokes are based on a cat’s behavior, making it more fun and exciting for its readers or recipients. Another great thing about cat jokes is that it could help you improve your current relationship with cats. It expands your understanding about certain behaviors of cats. Some jokes teach you about important current events such as animal/cat cruelty and mistreatment.

Bottom-line, cat jokes mostly cover all aspects of topics it relates to. By gaining this knowledge about your pet, you can certainly determine the do’s and don’ts and find a considerable and substantial way to increase the bond between you and your pet. It could also help you determine what type of cat accessories and certain cat equipment you should get that fits your cat’s lifestyle.

These are just some of the benefits you’d get by investing a few amount of your time reading through short funny lines. In addition, it could greatly vibe-up the mood of your day. That is why we have compiled a long list of cat related jokes to smooth up your atmosphere and to help you understand more about your cats.

An Amusing List of Cat Jokes

Q: There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

A: None, because they were copycats! Hell yeah I’m a catholic I’ve been addicted to cats my whole life

Q: How do you know when your cat’s done cleaning herself?

A: She’s smoking a cigarette.

Q: When is a lion not a lion?

A: When he turns into his cage!

Q: What do you call a flying cat?

A: I’m-paws-sible.

Q: What do you call a lion that has eaten your mother’s sister?

A: An aunt-eater!

Q: Why was the cat sitting on the computer?

A: To keep an eye on the mouse!

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?

A: A stripy sweater!

Q: What did the alien say to the cat?

A: Take me to your litter.

Q: What is smarter than a talking cat?

A: A spelling bee!

Q: What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?

A: The purrpatrator.

Q: How do you get a wet pussy?

A: Put it in the shower.

Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

Q: Why did the cat wear a dress?

A: She was feline fine.

Q: How are tigers like sergeants in the army?

A: They both wear stripes!

Q: What do you get if you cross a chick with an alley cat?

A: A peeping tom.

Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?

A: A terrified postman!

Q: What is a cat’s favourite color?

A: Purrrple!

Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?

A: I’m paw!

Q: What do you call a pile of kittens?

A: a meowntain

Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?

A: ‘Pleased to eat you.’!

Q: Why is the desert lion everyone’s favourite at Christmas?

A: Because he has sandy claws!

Q: What do you get when you take a Kitty Kat to the tailor?

A: Bad Blood.

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?

A: A stripy sweater!

Q: Did you hear about the cat that swallowed a ball of yarn?

A: She had a litter of mittens.

Q: What looks like half a cat?

A: The other half!

Q: Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?

A: Just kitten.

Q: What is a lion’s favourite food?

A: Baked beings!

Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

A: He felt funny!

Q: Why don’t cats like online shopping?

A: They prefer a cat-alogue.

Q: Who are cats going to vote for in November?

A: Hillary Kitten.

Q: Why was the cat scared of the tree?

A: Because of its bark.

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?

A: Frostbite!

Q: If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?

A: A stri-ped!

Q: What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?

A: ‘Claws.’

Q: Why shouldn’t you kidnap the kitten, Keanu?

A: Because curiosity killed the cat burglar.

Q: What do cats like to read?

A: Cat-alogues!

Q: What do you call a cat that just ate a duck?

A: a duck-filled platy puss.

Q: What’s striped and bouncy?

A: A tiger on a pogo stick!

Q: What do tigers wear in bed?

A: Stripy pyjamas!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

A: Kitty Perry!

Q: What do you call a cat race?

A: A meowathon.

Q: How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?

A: Smack a lion!

Q: What do you call a cat in a station wagon?

A: A car-pet!

Q: Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?

A: She let the cat out of the bag.

Q: Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?

A: She was purr-plexed.

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?

A: Santa Claws!

Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?

A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

Q: What is a cat’s favorite vegetable?

A: As-purr-agus.

Q: Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the fridge?

A: Because it turns “ice” into “mice”!

Q: What is the most breathless thing on television?

A: The Pink Panter Show!

Q: What did the cat say when he lost his toys?

A: You got to be kitten me.

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo?

A: A stripy jumper!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?

A: A sourpuss!

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?

A: Frostbite!

Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?

A: ‘Pleased to eat you.’!

Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A: A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!

Q: What do you call a cat that smells good?

A: prrrr-fume.

Q: What kind of car does a fat cat drive?

A: a Catillac!

Q: What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have?

A: A catastrophe!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?

A: A cat-a-logue!

Q: What is a French cat’s favourite pudding?

A: Chocolate mousse!

Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?

A: A tiger moth!

Q: What kind of sports car does a cat drive?

A: A Furrari.

Q: When the cat’s away…..?

A: The house smells better!

Q: Why are cats so good at video games?

A: Because they have nine lives!

Q: What did the cat say to the dog?

A: Check meow-t!

Q: Why was the cat so small?

A: Because it only ate condensed milk!

Q: Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza?

A: It was all drawn out on paw-pyrus.

Q: What’s a cat’s favourite button on the tv remote?

A: Paws!

Q: What do cats like to eat on sunny days?

A: Mice cream cones!

Q: What do you call a cat that wears make up?

A: Glamourpuss.

Q: Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?

A: Because it “littered”

Q: Did you hear about the cat who wanted to learn how to bark?

A: Curiousity killed the cat.

Q: What is a cat’s favourite kitchen tool?

A: The “whisker”.

Q: What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?

A: An eskimew!

Q: Why did the cat go to the river?

A: Claws it wanted to.

Q: What do you call a cat that can put together furniture from Ikea?

A: an Assembly kit.

Q: What’s the first thing you say to a cat?

A: HELLO KITTY!

Q: What is a cat’s favourite book?

A: The prince and the paw-purr.

Q: How do the Vietnamese like their soup?

A: Purrrrrfect.

Q: What is the cat’s favourite TV show?

A: The evening mews!

Q: What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?

A: ‘Don’t go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.’

Q: What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?

A: Purrr-suasive.

Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?

A: An octopuss!

Q: What time is it when ten cats chase a mouse?

A: Ten After One.

Q: What is a cat’s favourite dance move?

A: The Purr-colator.

Q: What do you call a painting of a cat?

A: A paw-trait

Q: What’s grumpy cat’s favourite ride at Dreamworld in Australia?

A: The Paw!

Q: What was the special offer at the pet store this week?

A: Buy 1 Cat get 1 Flea!

Q: How do you make cats furry?

A: The spin cycle.

Q: Why did the cat cross the road?

A: It was the chicken’s day off!

Q: What do you call a cat that can rough the great outdoors?

A: A survival kit.

Q: What do you call a cat when it is huge?

A: A MEOW-SIVE CAT

Q: Did you hear about the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?

A: She had mittens.

Q: Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himilayas?

A: She was a sher-paw.

Q: Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?

A: He set a new lap record.

Q: What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?

A: A mice cream cone.

Q: How do cats end a fight?

A: They hiss and make up.

Q: How many cats can you put into an empty box?

A: Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.

Q: What do you feed an invisible cat?

A: Evaporated milk.

Q: How is cat food sold?

A: Usually purr can!

Q: What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?

A: Me-ow!

Q: What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice?

A: Don’t you have a cat?

Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?

A: For kitty littering.

Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?

A: Hailing taxi cabs!

Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?

A: Sandy Claws!

Q: Who was the most powerful cat in China?

A: Chairman Miaow!

Q: What is a cat’s favourite musical instrument?

A: Purr-cussion.

Q: What do cats like to eat for breakfast?

A: Mice Krispies.

Q: Why did the cat run from the tree?

A: Because it was afraid of the bark!

Q: What is a cat’s favourite song?

A: Three Blind Mice.

Q: What is a cat’s favourite colour?

A: Purrrrrrrple!

Q: What do you call a cat that doesn’t use the litter box?

A: A pet project.

Q: If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?

A: Their paws.

Q: Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists?

A: Because they finally opened their eyes.

Q: What do cats wear at night?

A: paw-jamas!

Q: How did a cat take first prize at the bird show?

A: He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.

Q: What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?

A: Hiss and Tell.

Q: Why are cats better than babies?

A: Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.

Q: What do you call Long John Silver when he has a cat on his shoulder?

A: A purr-ate!

Q: What do you call a cat that can address the media?

A: a Press Kit.

Q: What does a cat do when it gets mad?

A: It has a hissy fit.

Q: What happened when the cat went to the flea circus?

A: He stole the whole show!

Q: If a cat can jump five feet high, then why can’t it jump through a three foot window?

A: Because the window is closed.

Q: What is a cat’s favourite movie?

A: “The Sound of Mewsic.”

Q: What do cats use to make coffee?

A: A purrcolator.

Q: What do you call a cat that does tricks?

A: A magic kit.

Q: What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?

A: Quicksand.

Q: Where does a cat go when he loses his tail?

A: The retail store!

Q: What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?

A: ‘Let us prey.’

Q: What do you call a cat on ice?

A: One cool cat. Cat: “You’re not real!” Nyan Cat: “At least I have a sparkly rainbow butt.”

Q: What is a cat’s favourite subject in school?

A: HISStory.

Q: What do you call newborn kittens that keep getting passed from owner to owner?

A: Chain litter.

Q: What is the cat’s favourite magazine?

A: Good Mousekeeping.

Q: Why is the cat so grouchy?

A: Because he’s in a bad mewd.

Q: What do you call a cat that can’t stop licking itself?

A: Purrr-verted.

Q: Why do you always find the cat in the last place you look?

A: Because you stop looking after you find it.

Q: Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?

A: Too many cheetahs.

Q: What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order?

A: Claw Enforcement.

Q: What is a cat’s favourite car?

A: The Catillac.

Q: Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t?

A: Your lap.

Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

Q: What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?

A: A duck filled fatty puss.

Q: If there are ten cats on a boat and one jump off, how many cats are left on the boat?

A: None! They were copy cats.

Q: Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?

A: The retail store.

Q: Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?

A: Because he’s always spotted.

Q: Why did the cat put oil on the mouse?

A: Because it squeaked.

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat?

A: A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you.

Q: How does the cat get its own way?

A: With friendly purrsuasion.

Q: Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you?

A: That depends on whether you’re a man or a mouse.

Q: What’s happening when you hear “woof… splat… meow… splat?”

A: It’s raining cats and dogs.

Q: Why are cats such good singers?

A: Because they’re very mewsical.

Q: What side of the cat has the most fur?

A: The OUT-side.

Q: What kind of cat will keep your grass short?

A: A Lawn Meower.

Q: Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats?

A: Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.

Q: What do you use to comb a cat?

A: A catacomb.

Bonus:

When a Black Hole Crosses Your Path

Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as a cat does. – anonymous

Reid Faylor on Halloween

I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him. – Reid Faylor

Game Respect Game

My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”

Cats Are Smarter

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. – Jeff Valdez

Cat Appetites

They make cat food out of cow, fish, turkey, chicken & lamb meat—but not mouse meat, which is probably all cats want. – JohnFugelsang

What Cats Want

Me and the wife [singer Katy Perry] have three cats, and they get whatever they want. We can only know what they want from what we speculate, so it’s a lot of vests, hats, and cat shoes. – Russell Brand

The Clothes Make The Cat

I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him. – Comedian Reid Faylor